Although it was his last day at work, we walked together in silence on the way home. He could have felt my sudden turn of mood and did not attempt to talk me, while I just didn't bother to break the silence.

As we  were about to reach the point where we usually split up to our respective bus stop, I had this sudden absurd urge to just cry. Hastily said 'Good luck.' and quickly walked away before he could reply. When i was crossing the overhead bridge, trying to look for the moon or just anything bright to take away my attention.. there were none. At that moment, tears just welled up and i couldn't stop it. I just cried.

I feel horrible horrible horrible. I will miss him so...

Just that i still have flashbacks on those times when he turned cold and i couldn't help him at his times of need, that made me regret not doing anything to prevent the gap between from widening.  And as I can't be a real good and reliable friend to him, I think it's best that he be gone from me. Else i'll keep regretting and blaming myself for things i have done, or i have not done. It isn't good for me.

Ah julia, it's just so hard to forget him like you told me too.. I need more bishies! Yamada~